Content Warning for Body Horror themes in this poem.
Moss and marrow reveal
from holes bored in my bones
Sorrow and sinew connect
to the surface of my ivory frame
Muscle and mycelium entwine
along drained and drowsy diaphysis
Only quills and blood remain
amidst the clipped debris of wings
It understands
but does not comprehend
that this world is no place
for one so soft and strange
-by Magpie M. Crow
"Body" is a brutal representation of my experiences with body dysmorphia, xenogenders, masking, and societal acceptance as a gender-non-conforming (GNC) individual. I often find myself feeling more like an animal, plant, or monster of some kind. Fellow GNC individuals will probably relate to questions of "nature vs nurture" when it comes to this feeling. Am I actually a non-human in the body? Is the way in which I was raised to believe feelings like this are wrong just making it "worse?" Or is it general society's feelings around queer/trans/gender-non-conforming folx manifesting within me, making me monstrous? I don't speak for all GNC folx, but chances are, like most things in life, it's a combination of everything that makes me who I am. I am me and always will be, regardless of outside influence.
I find solace in writing and am generally a happy individual living a good life with my loving partner and steady job, but like most people, I experience a lot on the day-to-day under the surface that anyone walking by wouldn't begin to notice or understand.
I hope this makes it out to someone that also struggles with these types of things, or maybe this is just the wrong place to be submitting my brand of poetry 😅 If so, sorry if I freaked you out, but either way, I hope you have a great day and are living the life you want for yourself. You deserve to be happy.